dude...she's like...the COOLEST person i know...

You know how everyone always says refers to someone as “the coolest person” they know? I’ve said it about a lot of people, but yesterday in class I asked myself “who really is the coolest person I know?” My answer was clear: my friend Anastasia Potter. Allow me to explain…

Anastasia “A-Train” Potter, or “Train” for short, fulfills all of my requirements that one must meet to be considered “cool.” Many people in my life meet all of these requirements, but few exceed them to the degree that she does. The following are my list of traits that comprise a “cool” person, and reasons why Train has literally set the standard by which every new person in my life will be measured:

Intelligence: Train is incredibly smart, yet miraculously she has social skills, which is a rare combination. She is informed, educated, and willing to learn about anything, and I wish more people shared her desire to become all of those things. I can talk to her about Lil Wayne in one breath and world events in the next, and it flows naturally because she is a truly intelligent and worldly person. She appreciates words in the same way that I do and understands the importance of always expanding one’s vocabulary. You can easily tell who are blissfully unaware of their surroundings, like half of the people I know, and those who are all-too-keenly aware of them, like Train. I prefer to spend my time with those keenly aware, because I’d rather be smart and pissed than dumb and content.

Humor: I consider myself a funny person. Nothing makes me feel more alive than making people laugh, and in fact, I’d like to make a living off of it someday. That being said, I have never met someone who matches my sense of humor in such a way as Anastasia Potter. The girl is funny. Like, really fucking funny. She takes wit and sarcasm to another level, and I am absolutely serious about our plan to write a television show that will appeal to the kind of people who enjoy The Office and 30 Rock as much as we do. Train laughs with her whole soul and it permeates a room unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Not many people are capable of that…not even me, I’m afraid.

Confidence: Train absolutely embodies confidence at the most fundamental level. The best way I can describe the way she enters a room is a ‘graceful swagger’, yet nothing about her personality suggests pretention or conceit. She fully embraces her qualities as well as her flaws (I don’t see them but she insists they’re there…) and does it with respect, both for herself and those around her.

Character: I don’t know much about Train’s experience on her rugby team, but from what I can tell, she is a leader in every sense of the word. I have met several of her teammates and I can tell by the way they all interact with her that Train is respected and loved, and this comes as no surprise to me at all, because she gives herself completely to the organization as well as her teammates. I have serious trust issues with people; I make friends instantly but at the end of the day, there are few people in my life who I know I can depend on regardless of the circumstances…and that’s just fine with me. I can honestly say that I trusted Train the minute I met her, and that hasn’t changed since then. She’s just one of those people you meet and immediately conclude that you are on her side.

So for all of those reasons and more, I officially consider Anastasia “A-Train” Potter the coolest person I know. After writing this and thinking about what makes someone a cool person, I’ve decided Train is cool because she is wholly and unapologetically herself, and that’s all we can really ask for in a person. So...yeah. Love ya Train.

"We don't need a reunion...we have facebook!"

I sent the following message to my three best friends from home via Facebook. I think five years is simply too soon for a reunion. Nothing like making my friends laugh at the expense of others...I clearly haven't changed since high school.

Regarding this PLHS Reunion facebook group and the proposed event itself:

I think it is absolutely hysterical that the biggest losers of our class are the ones so dilligent about planning a reunion. I didn't realize Jenny Thompson was even in our class...I thought she went to South. And who the hell is Dave Marone? I saw his name on the 'members' section and I can not remember this kid to save my life.

Didn't these people hate high school? Why are they so hell-bent on getting 'the gang' back together again? Perhaps they enjoyed high school and actually have some cherished memories of those delightful four years? If they did, I certainly wouldn't know, as I never said a word to any of them unless it was something along the lines of "um, girls, this row is saved..." at a football game.

It's quite ironic that Lindsay Craft is in charge of making sure people attend this event, because she is the exact reason I want nothing to do with any of it. She and the rest of her posse were, at best, C-list douchebags in high school, and they're crazy if they think that five years has changed anything about that. The high school social structure--though rigid, superficial, and arguably unfair--still exists today, and no amount of time or alcohol is going to change that, so I really don't know what these girls think they're doing.

I love how "Sammi"--I still refuse to acknowledge this as her name--is taking a hands-off approach to this event even though she's the one who sent the original message proposing it. "Hey guys, we should have a reunion! Wait...no I don't want to plan it..."

Look at the 'wall' for the group. Aside from Brittany Harrison's comical presence, notice how it's basically a bunch of idiots insisting that someone else plan the event. Remind anyone of high school? Mark my words...this reunion will not happen because anyone from our class with actual leadership skills does not wish to be a part of it. Samantha Pratt never planned a homecoming or organized a blood drive for the same reason she can't step up and be involved in this event that she proposed in the first place: she is timid, socially awkward, and nobody takes her seriously.

Given the lack of leadership experience and social clout of those planning it, I highly doubt this reunion will materialize. However, I'd like to have a plan in case it does. I say we all promptly RSVP a solid "NO" to the event, then go out with Davis and Herbener that night and get really drunk. Then we show up to the reunion, demand free drinks, steal them from people if they don't give into our demands, and then I'll grab the microphone (because I'm SURE there will be karaoke) and start picking random victims from the audience and make fun of them mercilessly for all to enjoy.

FUCK I can't stand these geeks.