The Parents Television Council has apparently sent letters to 340 companies who advertise on CBS demanding to pull ad dollars until the show's title is changed. This "council" consists of parents with a common goal of protecting their precious children from the horrors of television media, and also to ensure that their children have no friends and remain virgins until they're forty.
Okay. I don't have any children, clearly. But if I did, I can think of about ninety other things I'd be worried about over the fucking TITLE of a television show that isn't even an actual word, just a bunch of punctuation. Is it just me, or are today's parents creating a generation of spineless, passive aggressive, overmedicated, overstimulated, overindulged children who are going to ruin this country? I wasn't a kid that long ago, in the grand scheme of things, but so much has changed for kids now and I'm literally terrified of the future. Today's kid has the following things at his/her disposal:
- Television with hundreds of channels in their bedrooms
- XBox, Playstation, etc.
- Constant access to the internet
- Personal cell phones, many of which have unrestricted web access
- Medication prescribed for "ADHD", also known as "being a fucking kid"
- Partial, if not complete, control of household disposable income
- Credit cards
- Clothing designed for adults (particularly women) but sold in kids' sizes
- A basketball hoop without a net and an underinflated ball marked "Dustin" (previous owner before it rolled into my yard, thus becoming my property)
- Sidewalk chalk
- Chores
- A one-peice bathing suit
- An imagination
- Curfew of "when the streetlights turn on"
- Rocks
- AM/FM radio
Here is what our grandparents had as kids:
- Jobs
It's bad enough that parents are giving their children pussified names like "Sutton" and "Braxton", but they aren't even letting them compete with other kids. Nobody keeps score in kids' sports games anymore. I'm pretty sure that actual letter grades aren't used in some schools, but replaced with what I assume is a picture of a smiley face or a puppy or a pretty flower. Parents are worried about all the wrong things, like the title of William Shatner's shitty sitcom, or whether little Trystyn will be sad if his soccer team loses.
What they should be worried about are the "idols" of tweenybopper culture like Miley Cyrus and that vapid retard from "iCarly" who is all over the radio for some reason. These people are the reason that little girls are self conscious about their bodies and the tags of their clothes and what they need to do to gain the affection of older boys. Rather than sending angry emails to CBS over the title of a show, turn off the fucking television and talk to your kid about something. Anything. Take them outside and throw a ball around or draw something in sidewalk chalk all over the driveway. Occupy twenty minutes that would otherwise be spent ingesting bullshit advertising on the Disney channel aimed at turning your kids in to mindless brand-whores.
And for fuck's sake, cut your kids' teachers some slack. Because of you, they have a harder job than you can imagine.
2 comments:
I'm going to need more of these...on a more consistent basis. Thank you.
As a mother of TWO children whose kids have all the things you mentioned (except the income and credit cards...hello, I work in education) this makes me laugh because my kids (whose names are COOL thank you very much) would take one look at the title of that TV show and say..."Why is there a show about shit your dad says? Why is that funny?" If you know their dad, you'd find that statement hilarious.
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